How YOU Can be a Story Leader

Story leader.

What comes to your mind when you hear "Story leader?" I think of healing others and being a visionary. In our society, we have lost that very intimate and very precious connection to our own personal Story and to the Stories around us.

I was fortunate enough to spend 5 very unique and special days at a beautiful and hilly Jewish farm at Reistertown Maryland for a Transformational Author Experience and cast my "ripple" while sharing my Story (see below) in my own show "Dorit Unplugged." In the spirit and warmth of that circle, I began to heal myself with my Story and love myself again. I found joy and understanding. We all did.

Look around you in your community - how often do you hear businesses, leaders and role models incorporating their own personal Story as part of their message? Very few. Yet, it is starting to kick off - and in a big way.

It was first at the community room in Westbeth in the 70's when I learned of the power of Story from the well-known Storyteller, Stephen Holst.
Years later when I moved to Israel and taught English to Israeli high school students on a kibbutz, I turned to the power of Story to engage my students. I would read to them snippets of my Snoopy journal as a lead-in to a lesson journal writing - - the makings of our own Story in action.

I have always been an observer of Story. During the first three years of living in Israel, I observed the sights, sounds and smells of Israeli life and as I moved from kibbutz to kibbutz. Eventually, my natural ability to listen to other voices and in another language brought me to write my own Story of how I came full circle, which I'm writing now for my book, Giving a Voice to the Voiceless: A 5 Part Program for Transforming Your Business and Life in Story.

But yet, all during those years of living in Israel, I had silenced my Story. I knew there were many Anglos who immigrated to Israel, so what made my Story so unique and special?

Coming from the world's largest artist residence known as "Westbeth" in the world to milking cows and working in a kibbutz date factory in the middle of the Arava desert in preparation for my army service made my Story was undoubtably unique. Yet, for some reason, I always sought to silence my Voice. My Story. Maybe I was more concerned with fitting in as an Israeli, that it wasn't important for me to share my Story the voices of other Anglos with Israels. After all, we Anglos are common "Story material." Yet, I was the only one from Greenwich Village and I knew I would stand out.

In the past, I had the belief that it was more important to just listen to Story and not be a Story leader. Or any leader for that matter. That some experiences were just too personal to be shared. And by sharing them, I would be vulnerable. And G-d forbid I speak my own Truth? In other words, I thought I needed to give respect to those people who "earned" the right to share their Story - people who had accomplished a lot more than me.

And now that I have gone through my own personal transformation, I am blessed to be able to connect much more deeply to people when I hear them tell Stories.

And here's what changed for me completely. Recently, I allowed myself to listened to the threads of MEANING of their Story as a man and a woman talked about the Steel Mills of Pittsburgh and how those neighborhoods had changed from the 50's and 60's.

I could see and FEEL just how talking about Story on this semi-crowded bus where most people were texting. Story brought them together. Her Story. His Story. Becoming One. Just like the circle. As she relayed her experiences growing up in a steel mills town and his impressions of growing up in another steel mill town, they talked about familiar places they once knew. And their Story evolved around that. It was like putting the pieces of the Story puzzle together. Names and places suddenly became familiar. Nods and more nods. Smiles and laughter. Story brings that intimate connection.

At the transformational author retreat, one by one, people stood up to share their intimate Story and become a part of a global community. I encourage you to take your Story and message a "ripple" wider. If you join me as a partner of transformation, you can rest knowing that your Story is already heard. You can rest knowing that your Story is safe. As countless other Stories were shared, your Story was missed in our circle of love, empowerment, gratitude, and transformation.

Story goes deep and deeper still to that part of yourself that you think nobody really knows or has forgotten. Story is the part that heals. To laugh is to heal yourself, not to laugh at Story and You.

So to be a Story leader, step up and out from behind these invisible walls you've created for yourself. Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn are not viable Story material - they are just the "talk" of Story. Your Story penetrates deeper still. And ripples to the hearts of people who need to be wrapped up in your Story.

And the more you are tuned into others and wrap your Story in Love, the easier it will be for you to accept another person's words. And the more you can see yourself connected as one.

So join the HUGE rebirth, a "Renaissance" of your Story The new age of your Story Leadership.
Your Voice.
Your Vibration.

I encourage you to learn more about how you can join this Story movement and manifest your own Story as you transform your Life and Business in Story. Please visit - www.GivingAVoicetotheVoicelessBook.com

Pump Yourself with Love: How Story Manifests Your Dreams, Desires and Hopes

I just love my “me” time.
Not just because I have time for myself, but when I am working out at the gym “time” has no meaning.

I’m in the zone. We’ve all been there.

When I am in the present moment, that’s all I need.

So today, something transformational happened at the gym that blew me to pieces.

I began writing my 30 minute morning pages (more like 10 minutes) and I started writing random things about my life Story.

I wrote about family dinners growing up and what it felt like to eat all alone.

What it felt like to read the back of the Cheerios cereal boxes for dinner.

What it felt like to watch Scooby Doo. Alone.

What it felt like to grow up alone.

And I listen to the pumpin’ of the machines whirring around me.

And behind each sweaty face, there is a Story.

There is the man whose face shows great humility and sadness.
Yet he spends more time observing others than walking the threadmill.
And I wonder - "why?"

And then, there's a pregnant woman who whose feet move so fast, she’s perhaps forgotten the handle bars.
What does she wish for her child?

Just watching these two alone, is Story material to me.

And I wrap my Story and their Story in Love.

So instead of my regular, “go to the gym, burn the calories, weigh yourself on the scale, drink water, go back, burn more calories, weigh yourself on the scale again, drink more water…” mentality, I find myself setting an intention to pump myself with love.

It’s not just about burning the calories, but building momentum.

And with each calorie burned, I am totally feelin’ it.

And then, for a few minutes, in my mind’s eye, I go back to the circle of the transformational author retreat.

And I’m feeling the Story connection of Voice, Body, Vibration. It comes alive.

Do you know what makes that Story connection come alive?

I write about my hopes, dreams, wishes and desires. What’s coming true for me and my family and what’s emerging as I surrender to the moment.

When you wrap your Story in love, you give Voice to past feelings and incidents.

When you connect your Story from your highest self, you begin to also connect with the other expressive parts of your being that have been shut out.

You see how your Story is part of a universal healing light.

And this is how giving Voice can also heal and transform.

Story is not only about journaling your life in the moment, but how you can be “free” of the emotional prison. How you can use Story to connect with the power of your own emotion.

And this is what I treasure and deeply wish for each of you.

That you’ll discover Story as a “healing bridge” that will gracefully unfold many possibilities for who and want you want to be.

So what about you? What’s your deepest dream, goal or desire? How can Story help make that happen for you?

What's your calling? What's your Story?

I love the Pearlstone retreat center.

In case you haven't heart of it, it's a beautiful retreat center nestled and tucked away in the beautiful woods in Reistertown, Maryland.


More than forty transformational authors from around the globe of the forthcoming book (May 20, 2012) Pebbles in the Pond: Transforming the World One Person at a Time gathered for a 5 day spiritual/writing gathering. What do you think happens when you put 40+ transformational authors in one circle? Talk about vulnerability, healing, empowerment, love and well, transformation!

Check out our Pebbles member Carolyn Rose Hart and what she had to say about finding her voice and calling:

==>> Get this week's Pebbles chapter reading here: http://pebblesinthepondbook.com/blog/pebbles-chapters/spiritwise/


==>> Listen to Carolyn Hart's chapter reading via Youtube Here:

One of my other big "circle" moments was when I stepped into my "one woman show" that I would later call - "Dorit Unplugged" without me even knowing it! I'd share the very intimate details of leaving NYC for a life on a kibbutz in Israel. Don't even get me started about my very Kooky laugh! Argh!~

But some little voice who couldn't just sit in a chair told me to honor my story in a "comedian" like way. Humor would ground me. For many years, I had wondered which country do I belong to? Would I be able to make it last in Israel? Now, I had acquired a "new family" complete with many soul brothers and sisters. I felt complete. My soul had finally come HOME!

After about a few times standing in the circle, I had eased into my family. I could now sit in and out of the circle and feel myself bathed in my truth.

What's that "truth" all about?!

It reminded me of singing and acting while I was a student at the High School of Performing Arts in New York City: When I expressing the best aspects of myself, I was in the "zone." We've all been there.

Mind over matter. When you truly find your calling and a deep soul connection, you find stillness.

And another reason to speak your truth: You get everyone who is part of your "tribe" to resonate with you and you express yourself and honor your Story in the way that's right for you.

See you over at my new website in less than a week - www.GivingAVoicetotheVoicelessBook.com...

From my soul to yours,
Dorit

The Power of Your Story

The Power of Your Story

Do you ever feel like every day of your life writes a new chapter of your personal story? Or, that every week you discover something new about yourself that helps you see things from a new perspective? This is one of the great miracles of being on a conscious path of entrepreneurship and/or authorship. Every day and every week give you ample opportunities to redefine and write your story.

Perhaps you've experienced some chapters that have been challenging. Perhaps some chapters were so rewarding you didn't want them to end. And, maybe there were (or are) other chapters that left you with more questions than answers. Nonetheless, this is the journey of life... beginning, endings and the never-ending unfolding of who you truly are.

The beauty of your story is the power it holds to connect you with other people's hearts. Take a moment to remember a few personal stories that you've heard… stories that have allowed you into someone's heart. Maybe you read a Best-Selling book in which the author let you into their heart. Maybe you had a "random" meeting with someone for a brief time in which they shared their story and it touched you in a deep and powerful way. Maybe you were touched by hearing more of my story during last week's call.

Whatever comes to mind, think of at least one experience where someone's story impacted you in a deep way. What was it about their story that drew you in? Try to identify what happened for YOU (through their sharing) that made you want to hear more. If you can answer that question, you will have an understanding of the power of stories to connect with someone's heart. And, as an entrepreneur or author, you can use that same power to connect your story with the hearts of the people you want to serve.

So, now let's turn it around… and, remember a time when you shared YOUR story in a way that impacted another person. How did it feel for you to know that the sharing of your story made a real difference to someone else? And, how did it feel for you to SHARE your story? Sit with these answers for a few moments and allow yourself to connect with the power of your story.

No matter where you may be on your journey of entrepreneurship and/or authorship, you already have infinite wisdom and an incredible story to share. There is no place you need to arrive; there is nothing you need to do to make your story better. Your story is already enough to help transform another person's life.

So, let your story be told… on the pages of a book, in your next speech, or in a quiet conversation with a friend over tea. Embrace your story as the powerful tool for transformation that it already is.

And, if you want to get started now, I encourage you to take the action step below….

****Action Step*****
Set aside 30 minutes in the next few days to write in your journal. Set the intention for your journaling session to write as much of your personal story as you possibly can in the time allotted. As you write, keep an eye out for themes, core messages or recurring insights…. And clarify them as you write your story. Keep writing non-stop throughout the exercise. At the end of 30 minutes, put your pen down, take a few deep centering breaths, and with a loving and non-judgmental heart read what you wrote. Next, jot down any notes or insights you receive as you read your own powerful story. Finally, allow your story to flow through you to others… as a tool for transformation.

©2011 Christine Kloser
Three-time award winning author and “Transformation Catalyst," Christine Kloser specializes in training authors and entrepreneurs to write, publish and market their transformational books so they can shine their brightest light in the world, while impacting others with their powerful message. She is the creator of the Transformational Author Experience and ChristineKloserUniversity.com where she teachers her signature Get Your Book Done® program. Christine has impacted tens of thousands of conscious entrepreneurs and aspiring authors around the world through her writing, speaking, live events, communities and coaching. A featured columnist in PUBLISHED! Magazine, Christine is leading the wayfor those who are ready to help transform the world with their words. Get FREE training with Christine now at: www.TransformationalAuthor.com.

Free to Be Me

What if, just for today, you decided to be yourself?

Today, I received this message from the universe in my inbox.

**
Dorit, do you know what's really, really, really easy?

Whatever you say is really, really, really easy.

Same goes for the hard stuff.

You so fly,

**
Yes. To fly. This morning at the transformational author's retreat led by spiritual leader Christine Kloser, I had the chance to act my most authentic self. To fly. People who know me from long ago know that kooky Dorit and know her well.
But somewhere down the road, I've silenced that actress who loves to tell a story. Who loves to captivate an audience. But I always managed to silence my voice. Maybe it was because I was afraid to annoy many people with my high-pitched laughter. Or maybe it was because I never thought I had something important worth saying.

But today, standing in a circle of 40+ transformational authors had never felt so so good. I said, "Yesterday, Nadine Love, (another Pebbles in the Pond author) and I went down a long dark road for a walk. We left the retreat center. I saw empty vast spaces for miles around and it scared me. I never felt so much uncertainty in my life. At home, I am in such control of my schedule with all the hats I wear. I wear the hats of "the teacher," "paper-grader, "writer," "mother."


Bit by bit, I stripped myself down to my most vulnerable “kooky” core. People were laughing left, right and center. And the feeling of sharing my voice with others was no longer a distant memory. I was that actress. I was that storyteller. My Pebbles friends will tell you they felt they were on "The Dorit Show," but I call it "Dorit Unplugged.”

After I went back to my seat, the energy in that room had completely - and I mean, completely, shifted.

You see, I've always stuck to structure for comfort and security's sake. I always stuck to order and having a steady paycheck. But now, the time has come to give voice to all the voiceless people. My soul had come home. Acting kooky and "retarded" was the one tool I had to feel completely grounded and safe in my element. That ONE element.

All throughout the retreat, I hear people express the idea "How can I step up to be me?"


As I got people to laugh, I realized that I was able to create a very special space for other people so they could feel comfortable and vulnerable in their own skin and share their Stories.

So because I wasn’t sure of how I impacted others, I asked my Pebbles friends:

"You're a vaudeville act."
"You're a storyteller."
"You owned that moment."
"Your laugh is something. Infectious."

This is what I am meant to do as a storyteller.

All my life I have tried HARD to be somebody else's vibration. But, it's about creating that space. And being comfortable with who are. When you are expressing your most authentic self, you create space for people to step into their creative power and give voice to voice to their story.

Obviously, I had not planned for it to go this way, but obviously, there was some kind of vibrational energy that wanted me to own that moment and be in the spotlight.

So let yourself laugh wild and free and act as kooky as you want. Step into your power. Voice your Story and own the Storytelling moment. Obviously, for me, there was a big part of me that needed to be seen and heard despite all the uncertainty and emotional vulnerability. But yet, there was a part of me that wanted to hide under the table.

But the more you step up and out, the easier it will be for you to share that who you are. That of course is not a reason to step away. Other people need to feel your light. The most important thing is to keep moving forward, voicing what you believe and value. This IS your Story. People everywhere, HUNGER for Truth. Being who you are is not easy, but it is an incredible invitation to be who you are in the universe. You will get resistance of people who won't understand you. But that is evidence that something is changing inside of you and that your energy is healing.

Your Story Manifesto Transformational Tips: What is Your Voice Trying to Tell You

If you've been following my blog, then perhaps you've already gotten a feel for my journey of "straddling on two cultural seats."

My story is a big part of it.

Just the other day, I saw a picture of the almond blossums of the Upper Galilee and the Emek Hahula valley in Israel where our kibbutz is, and my heart sank. The caption read: "This is the most beautiful piece of countryside in Israel" and of course, I couldn't agree more. How I wanted to be there at that very moment and especially, at this time of year!

The concrete that we wake up to every morning here in Pittsburgh coupled with the early morning sirens spells another part to my story. Moving to the US in 2007 was on one hand, a great big boost for both myself and my husband's personal and professional developments. But it also entailed, a great self-sacrifice in the name of a home, family and friends. To help me along this journey, I have my meditating mentors to thanks - Dr. Deepak Chopra and DavidJi who sit somehwere in my computer and await for me every morning to find peace and stillness between my thoughts.

I've discovered from the four and a half years of cultural straddling that there is this great big voice that has emerged and truly wants to be heard as it finds its way "home."

When I take the time to listen, the BIG APE OL' Voice from the depths of my own story, tells me that I'm missing the point! It needs recognition, self-care, healing as part of recognizing that journey. And so now, when that voice speaks, I've learned to listen and tune in!

But let's face it..most people are reluctant to share that personal part of their story. But if you allow yourself to dig deep (and I mean getting past the mindset stuff and listen, really listen to that voice that emerges from people and places you've encountered) you will discover that what you have been holding unto can also set your free. And if you're in the process of branding yourself, that story is a major piece and can lead the way for connecting more effectively with your clients...

So, where do you think your life story could lead you – if you allowed it to lead the way? What do you think you could gain, both personally and professionally, if you came out fully with your life story?”

Need more help to put your story into vision?
If you've been called to energetically tap into the voice of your story as part of a larger professional or personal vision, sign-up to receive your weekly story manifestor transformational tips as part of your complimentary subscription "Your Story Manifesto: Change Your Vision to Change the World." To subscribe, send an email: sassondorit@gmail.com.

Being Silent Never Helps...Here's What Does

Silence cannot be contained in a box; it is vast endless as divine presence. ~TaoliAmbika

**
How could I NOT miss that blue pamphlet?

On a Pittsburgh city bus, a man standing next to me in a yellow parka started to speak while holding a blue pamphlet. For a moment, I felt I was on a NYC subway with some of those "Jews for Jesus" people...

"In September, we're going to have massive cuts in our public transportation system...Port Authority is facing a $64 million deficit in its operating budget. This means slashing service. This is a statewide problem. No corporate solution."

"There are going to be some major serious cuts and it's going to kill us. Kill us!" The man repeated emphatically.

"The airport flyer - eliminated."

"Many communities won't be served anymore... Take a look folks.. it's really bad."

I must admit. There was a deep part of me that didn't want to even look at that blue pamphlet for fear of the eliminating routes...

The airport flyer eliminated? What? Are they crazy? I thought. I felt the blood rush to my head.

"You guys have the power to make a difference... There's a hearing on February 29th downtown..."

"Yeah," a man bellowed from the back. "Word."

I turn to look at the man - he was listening with intent. He was nodding. He was smiling...I looked at all the people in that bus.. they were ALL listening with intent...


When my husband and I both got off at the corner bus stop in the snowy cold, we both took a quick look at the proposed fare schedules and changes.

"And what about the 64?" my husband asked.

That was the bus my husband took every day to work.

I quickly scanned the pamphlet..

Eliminated! Eliminated? Eliminated!!!

The man in the yellow parka was right. It looked bad... Really bad.

"Haim," I cried. "They're going to cut the 64!"

"They're not going to cut the 64! David Shapira (The CEO of Giant Eagle, where my husband works) won't let them...."

That was when my voice REALLY got stuck in my throat.

Flashback #1 - I am back in Israel marching with thousands of other teachers fighting for our right to get better working conditions. We march in front of the Knesset building in Jerusalem, the Israeli Parliament for two straight days...

But for the next five years, nothing changes...same salaries, just bigger classes and more hours...

Here, in the US, I have to stop hiding in my voice, my jacket and under the "disguise" of silence...because if I don't, my voice will continue to stay stuck in my throat...

The power of the people..

In Israel, everybody makes a lot of noise all of the time and you have no choice but to join forces, whether you like it or not.


And as one who solely relies on public transportation here in Pittsburgh to get around, I knew I didn't have a choice, but to speak up...at the public hearing...

In the snowy cold, I looked at the pamphlet again - The bus I would take to teach at the two universities would have service reductions as would the 65 Squirrel Hill neighborhood bus I would take in the early morning.

I looked at some of the other routes like the Manchester 18 line that used to take me from downtown Pittsburgh to the CCAC - Allegheny campus. What would happen to all those community college students who relied, like me, on the bus to take them to school?

There was no logic in any of this - just pain, and a lot of frustration.

(In some ways, even though we returned to a superpower nation, I feel in many ways, as if we returned to a third world country in terms of its thinking...)

And then, there was the airport flyer, the 28X which listed service reductions...

What does it meant to be voiceless...

Being Voiceless is when you CHOOSE to not speak.

Being Voiceless is when you consciously DECIDE that you have nothing to SAY, and nobody will listen to you, so why speak anyway?

Being Voiceless is when you relinquish your POWER to the higher authorities and other forces that be because you are too scared, too lazy, too tired, or too whatever to speak your own truth.

Growing up in NYC, I never thought I had the significant power to make a difference by changing things. I had stayed quiet all throughout school because it seemed to the "right" thing to do. After all, there were "other voices" that were better than me...

But... what if you could be ALL that you wanted to BE....just from SPEAKING YOUR TRUTH?

As I watched my husband's coat tails viciously flapping in the wind, I thought...How could I possibly know if some corporate person was truly going to fight for my husband's need to get to work on a bus??

I had already decided - I was going to speak at that hearing! No Matter what! As a matter of fact, I just made a note in my planner to call first thing Monday morning to "book" a 3 minute appointment. I have...

3 minutes to speak my truth.
3 minutes to speak my pain.
3 minutes to speak also for the voices of others.

3 minutes is all I have...


I had started to write this post and then got distracted with Facebook (but of course) but this distraction was totally different. I was specifically looking for a specific "energetic vibration" that would bring people together...

I took a quick look at the Compassionate Listening Project (where I got the quote on "silence"). Fate would bring me to the Facebook page of The Compassionate Listening Project knowing that I wanted the universe to support me during my 3 minute opportunity to be heard (a journey that reflected all journeys) during a public hearing...


Voicing our truth starts in our own homes, cities, coutries and towns...and begins when somebody says or does something that strikes a chord in our hearts, minds and souls just like the man in the yellow parka, whose emphatic talk prompted me to take emphatic action ...

Man, sometimes.... I wish life wasn't so hard...

But now I am prepared to drop my ripple everywhere I go whether I am on a bus or not...

Are You Letting Go of Outcomes?

I just finished a wonderful morning meditation with DavidJi, the lead educator of the Chopra Center. I swear every time that man speaks, I feel as if I'm closer to G-d.

The Bhagavad Gita verse 2.47 says: "We have total control over our own actions and no control over the fruit of our own actions"

and yet...

we spend so much time in the fruit....

And so today's post is all about letting go of outcomes and pushing through limiting beliefs. As DavidJi gently guided me to breathe, the lighter I felt.

And with each pushing off, he asked, "What can't you have? What can't you achieve?"

I felt mysef getting lighter as a feather, feeling the wind carrying me - slowly my house went out of focus and all I could see was the foggy dense clouds from underneath. With each breath, I went higher and higher...

The entire experience was magical and by the time I returned to my physical body, I was so reassured that even in uncertain times, I had the power to make my dreams come true...if only I allowed myself to push through limiting beliefs...

And then...I could hear, feel and see the life history of the development of my voice and how, I had dreamed BIG and over the years, HOW my voice of my dreams and desires, shrunk -- becoming smaller and smaller until i had forgotten my passions and who I really was until I had "died out" completely.

Pretty sad, when you think about it.

but this is what happens with many many people all around us... carrying their empty dreams in their shopping bags, their purses and handbags on their way to burn-out... I see it every day...

By the time I came "back to earth," I first realized how important quietening the mind can help me voice more of what I want and less of what I don't.

And then, the bigger picture of what I had just experienced came into view...

My limiting beliefs was also big part of my own personal story of who I am and who I've come to be...

And so now, the magic continues...

If you really want to learn what really goes on when you are able to voice beyond your limiting beliefs, take a look secrets revealed in these short bite-sized inspirational "7 Plus Writing Tips to Connect with Your Voice" tips you can easily put into practice.

Your first "bite-sized" tip will be delivered in your inbox for the next seven days.

To get started, simply send an email to: sassondorit (AT) gmail (DOT) com

The Magic of a Ripple

"I need to sit THERE," a woman pronounced quite loudly.

My seven year old and I had just sat in the front of the bus. It was a Friday night and the bus was lively - full of students talking on their iphones.

We quickly moved to the adjoining seats.

She was loaded with shopping bags containing packaged food; some were tied to her black suitcase and - she tried to hold whatever she could - a few of the plastic handles slipped from her wrist.

We were heading to a potluck at a nearby synagogue in Pittsburgh for families of young kids. I was extra "spiritually pumped." All week long, I was looking forward to spending a Friday night at a synagogue - my only real physical and spiritual connection to Israel - my past, my legacy, my story. I was so ready to welcome the Shabbat. But on the other hand, I was feeling weak, lonely, exhausted, tired....

This woman had started to talk about herself - at first she was inaudible. But I listened closely. I was surprised to find my son listening with intent.

"I'm really in pain..." she said.

{more talk}

"It's a good thing you are not wheelchair bound," I said.

"Yeah."

"And it's good that you can still walk."

"Yeah, I want to. I won't give up on walking..."

She started to talk more about her partner who abandoned her when he found out she had gotten sick...

"He gave up on me..." I could hear the pain in her voice even though she squeaked.

"That's not unconditional love," I said. "That's a condition..."

"Yeah," she said. "A condition."

The sun had just then wilted away as I made a quick mental note to greet the Shabbat from my bus seat. Pink and white shadows shifted as we rounded a curve. As we descended, the student neighborhood of Carnegie Mellon and the University of Pittsburgh, came into view.

"Yeah," she said looking thoughtfully. "And then he got mixed up with some voodoo people..." Her voice drifted off as we hit the first traffic light.

Fate would bring me to this woman, who was even lonelier and isolated than I could probably imagine and needed somebody to hear her truth - hear her story...

As I looked deeply into her eyes, I saw and felt a very strange pain that almost paralyzed her. She struggled with every word, every breath.

It was such a compassionate, calming and truth-revealing moment. I was not afraid to talk to strangers. She could easily be my neighbor...I felt instantly connected.

I admit though... I was a bit relieved when our bus had come to our stop. But I was grateful to have given her the chance to step into her truth. If I had stayed on that bus, who knows?


With the people you meet, you have the opportunity to drop your ripple at ANY given moment. Listen to their stories. Hear their pain. Listen to their hearts. Listen to yours. Every story will bring you closer to your own truth, vulnerability and pain. Find your own gift that will ripple over... beginning with one person at a time.

Opening Yourself in Your Personal Writing WILL Transform Your Relationships and lead to Greatness

My Story

One of the biggest challenges I experienced while living in Israel for 20 years before returning to the States in 2007, was to say what I wanted to say in Hebrew. Since the Israeli culture is voiceferous and direct and most usually will tell what is on their minds right in your face at any given moment, I had to be prepared for this. In New York City where I grew up for example, I was used to "silence" and very easily could be as "anonymous" as I wanted to be, but this just wasn't possible in Israel.

Silence on the Kibbutz

While I realize that our kibbutz, a communal way of living, had undergone privitization, that process didn't stop people from entering our torn down structure and examining it at all times. And if that weren't enough, they would talk about what they saw and asked us questions, made comments - some unwanted! I felt our privacy had been violated many times over. Truly, this was the Israeli way - we just happened to be on a kibbutz. Surely, this wouldn't happen to the extent that it did in Pittsburgh! Our house was the subject of talk at our kibbutz for months and months to come. When we hired a kitchen designer for example, it seemed as if everyone was copying the same designer - nobody said "wow! What a great kitchen you have.." Of course, that again, was the Israeli way!

Silence as a Teacher

Another form of silence that I talk about in my story, "Getting Out of My Way," for the Pebbles in the Pond anthology (to be released in May 2012) is the teacher silence which still painfully resonates with me until today. At the beginning of my High School teaching career, I looked to my Israeli colleagues for help, advice, to tell me what I was doing wrong and right about my teaching. But my mentor at that time had said, "It's very hard to elicit feedback from people, especially positive feedback and especially from Israelis who are very self-centered and concerned about themselves.

Concerned about themselves? Self-centered? Huh - did I miss something?

NOW I understand why I was never taken seriously at teacher-meetings and why I always felt the need to be quiet even if my ideas were super-important.

Listen to the Voice that Allows You to FEEL

There are times when silence can be a very good thing - quiet and stillness to create and ponder thoughts and meditate. But maintaining a silent voice in a new culture can be life-changing and not always for the better.

If you can write about these events from an emotional perspective, you will also come across as very transparent or as I call it, "sincere" to your reader.

What it boils down to is... how you listen to the voice of that experience as your "take-away" point and how it allows you to FEEL. Capturing these feelings is what helps your readers resonate with you, your story AND your emotional perspective.


The Power of Transforming Relationships

In retrospect, none of these events were random and they all served a purpose even if I couldn't understand "why." Perhaps, as a "silent New Yorker," I needed to experience silence from a deeper cultural perspective, in order to come full-circle.

Now that I am in the Diaspora, rereading my mentor's words put a "time stamp" on what I was feeling at that moment in Israel. All I really genuinely wanted was to feel a sense of belonging and connection. Why did it take so long for me to finally understand the pain of my own silence?

I have come to realize that by "not stepping into your truth" - aka "staying silent" and ignoring the voice of your life story, you are actually doing your readers a disservice.

When I visit blogs for example, one of the first things I’ll always do is visit your about page. You see, it’s really all about investing in relationships, right? You want to know if I’m the type worthy of investing your time and energy (relationship). I want to know the same about you.

Let me tell you about a relationship I have with my Pebbles in the Pond friends, Doreen Fulton and Ann White. I love them both. Doreen always has something positive to say as her way of giving voice to voiceless in the type of work that she does. Ann White is this amazing giving healer that you just can't help to fall in love with. Because they are both so wonderful with their comments on the Pebbles Facebook page, I made it a point to find out more about the them. When I went to their sites, I discovered that we both had something in common and I loved their websites, but I also knew that with the "miles" they travelled emotionally and spiritually, there was much more that also needed to be expressed. Then they shared their chapter stories here and here ...whoa! I resonated with their "silence" and "pain stories" on so many different levels. You hear their stories, the "emotional perspective," which I'm referring to when you write your about pages.


Through this process of communication, we have a relationship. I’ll work to help them any way I can and I know they’ll do the same for me.

In my opinion, this is where sharing our life stories can help in the way of building strong relationships with others. And through the process, we don't need to feel we are alone and be silenced. We fulfill our purpose of using our special and unique life experiences to also help and heal and serve others.

Ignite Your Heart's Desire for Writing Your Life Story: The Key is Clarity!

Hey writers and creative people!

I'm responding to a response to a survey question I shared on my FB page, "Giving a Voice to the Voiceless"

One respondent posted, "Getting clear about it," to my question, "How will writing your own life story ("pain story") and/or personal storytelling help you connect to the power of your own emotion and find your own voice?"

Getting clear about your story has a lot more to do with your inner motivation, drive. From a creative perspective, both your own creative message (the way you choose to honor the way your story emerges) share your message)

I'm quite inspired right now after reading Sonia Choquett's Your Heart's Desire: Instructions for Creating the Life You Really Want, and principle number one in her book focuses on bringing your dream into focus. Yes - bringing your dream into focus. She gives lots of practical bite-sized chunks for taking steps closer to the dream you want.


I thought about my own empowerment of personal [pain] story writing for the writers, storytellers and other creative/free thinking people who connect to their truths and who they want to be.

This is a transforming exercise, so be prepared for lots of surprises in clarity!

Macro level of clarity:

Why is it important for you to write your story? What will you accomplish by writing it? What message will you share with the rest of the world? How will the world benefit from your message?

As you clarify your desire for writing your life story, you'll also deepen your desire to connect to the voice of your story.


Creating the space for understanding your real heart's desires gives also clarity for your soul. When you get clear about what you want, it is also easier to manifest it.

"Desire directs focus. If your desires are vague, your focus will be blurred. If your desires are heartfelt, however, your focus will be sharp and clear. That's why vague desires will never materialize, but clearly focused Heart's Desires will. Clear focus is the mind's magic wand." (Choquette, Your Heart's Desire)

BOOM-BOOM CLARITY OF WISDOM

A BOOM-BOOM CLARITY OF WISDOM
Do you know the key to becoming a more powerful YOU?
I just finished watching this powerful video – thanks, Kimberly Barclay, you rock!


Presented by the fab Mel Robbins, a "tell-it'like-it-is" life coach, cements the understanding in twnety minutes, of how we can easily get caught up with our thoughts and how simple it is to break the pattern we've endured forever, but not easy to implement.

And it inspired me to share with you just how
You can dig deep to spread a message like it is, as it is happening to you
So powerful it can actually change
your own course of action, thinking, words, thoughts and deeds.
But first, you need to be aware of all that is happening in the moment.
For the last two weeks now for the Get Your Book Done program under the guiding intuitive hand of Christine Kloser, I’ve been writing about helping people understand the meaning of their lives through stories.
Just getting the information out there on paper gave me
The momentum I needed
Every day, I step out of my comfort zone by writing about my vision and making Going to the grocery store and picking up my son from school – I didn’t feel like the same person anymore.
I didn’t spend moping about what other people would think about me – which has been one of my problems all along.

THIS IS WHAT ALGINING CHOICES FROM YOUR DIVINE SELF TO THE UNIVERSE IS ALL ABOUT!
But let me get to the good part….
And this helped me get past ALL the voices of limiting beliefs, understanding and expectations of “THIS IS HOW IT IS MEANT TO BE AND DON’T FORGET IT”
“NO, IT’S NOT!” I said.

And then, all of a sudden,
I asked myself:
“DORIT - What is the Message YOU want to SHARE with the REST of the World?
I saw how all the dots of my past experiences connected.
I’ve watched – but this one was culturally unique in that the social and cultural landscapes are different than what I experience.
At a first time basketball game yesterday at the university where I teach, my husband said, “Yeah, the stadium like the size of the hall of Emek Hahula, the school and the kibbutz where I taught for seven years.
Well, it put the size of it into perspective, but what about MY world perspective?? Didn't that count for something?

Perspective – Diversity – Israel- New York – Pittsburgh… Hmmmm
All the dots of my past experiences – ALL connected.
YES!
For me, my work is ...


all about rising above your limiting world views and feelings of an outsider no matter your diverse landscape and finding your own emotional freedom despite how your "landscape" has changed from the outside.


That’s my message I want to share with the world and I am the perfect person to share this because of my own life experience.
Well, I’m sharing with you this
“BOOM- BOOM CLARITY OF WISDOM” (Hey, it rhymes!)
because
At an imperfect moment, you can make the most impact... a thought triggers some kind of visualization and deep feeling from the soul and gut causing you to then take some kind of imperfect action.
So my point is, you have everything you need to succeed. Never in a more needed period of time, does humanity needs your voice.
So what are you waiting for?
Try it!

My Own Transformation as a Teacher

I have always been a very different kind of teacher. During my early days teaching EFL (English as a foreign language) back in 1993 in Israel, I aimed to observe my students more, indulged in listening to their conversations, and participated in their learning experiences as I sat next to them.

I was following a heart felt approach to teaching as a way to straddle the hurdles of American and Israeli cultural differences of my own identity even if I didn't know I was doing the right thing.

I had come to the conclusion, that I didn't need to think and feel like an Israeli to survive and thrive in the cultural classroom, but just be myself. This approach led me to try and listen more, but I always had to fight the urge to react no matter how difficult the cultural clash. I'll never forget how, one homeroom teacher had brought in a suspended student who had caused havoc and disrupted other students and whose parents claimed that because he was on retalin, needed a second chance. (more like the fifth chance) I had been in those situations before, but because I didn't respond with "chutzpah," my linguistic efforts thwarted.

There I was, dripping with sweat. The homeroom teacher had literally flung the child in the classroom, the child looked bewildered and looked at me, then at the homeroom teacher, and finally shrugged his shoulders and ran to greet his friends while I looked on in silent horror. It was a confusing moment on many levels and much of it was culturally and emotionally grounded. I was filled with frustration. I felt like a doormat.

That silent voice of years past.

Fast forward to the year 2012. 2012! I now no longer teach Israeli students. I live in Pittsburgh and teach adult ESL students at two universities since I arrived in 2007.

Every time a new semester begins (like today), I tell my students that we share this cultural classroom together. But today, I told them what it was like to feel "voiceless." To live and learn a new language in another country. This eases them tremendously - I can tell by their body language and eye contact. This is my first time I'm sharing the word "voiceless" in the cultural ESL classroom. I don't know if they immediately get the point, but I am sure glad I've allowed myself to share on this level. I feel naked, but nobody brushes me aside. All eyes are on me. And the funny part is - they continue to listen. This heals me.

Since I've arrived in Pittsburgh, I can't seem to get the concept of being a "voiceless" teacher, teaching "voiceless" students out of my head. I watch the "Freedom Fighters" movie and I fall in love with how a band of students are transformed through the power of personal story writing.

In the summer of 2011, after signing a contract to write a book on teacher collaboration for English language learners for Pearson, I felt the divine calling to sign up for Christine Kloser's "Transformational Author Anthology Pebbles Program" - it would be my opportunity to write about my journey and how I came full circle. It was the perfect gift to my soul. Talk about rock sliding collision of forces and energies!

I had just began the process with "Pebbles" chapter for the anthology (May 2012).

You just can't imagine the surge of energy I have felt since starting the "Get Your Book Done" program for modeling every step of the process for writing my book, Giving a Voice to the Voiceless every single time I sit down to write.

If you're interested in learning about the Get Your Book Done program, click here.

The writing is just so effortless. I have never felt this kind of transformative power before as a writer. WOW!

And yet, on days when I feel voiceless, or "emotionally trapped," on those lonely days where there is no "ground," I constantly need to remember that I'm on a path towards recognizing just how powerful I can be using the tool of self-discovery for personal story writing to help move closer to the light as I acquire a more insider experience and away from the feelings of an outsider.

But the most transformational process as an author for me, began during the writing process. I discovered, through meditation, that I was able to visualize a whole new path waiting for me and step and claim my higher powers, which I never knew existed. I saw myself healing others as I wrote the section, "Transforming your personal world of darkness." THERE WAS A WHOLE NEW PATH JUST WAITING FOR ME!

I connected to my reader when I wrote the section "connecting to your own personally diverse voice." I am drawn to diversity, of all forms, shapes and sizes - all have unique voices and those who have lived abroad for any period of time, are extensively "poetic."

When we share our experiences with others either in the "ether" or face to face, we bear witness to a very powerful thing. And when we are able to write about the transformational process, that is us, sharing our Dharma, our purpose emerge for the highest level of good.

I never thought I'd get this far. I'm a different kind of teacher. Yes - it's the new 2012 me. I guess I haven't abandoned the Teacher's Diversity Coach over at www.DoritSasson.com. I'm just playing with "diversity" from a different angle.

For more updates on the giving the "Voice to the Voiceless" movement and book and how you can get involved, please join my facebook fan page.

https://www.facebook.com/GivingaVoicetotheVoiceless

And just out of curiosity - Do you know any teachers (or anybody else) who underwent a transformation process? Please share your comments and thoughts. I'd love to know. Let's dialogue about this great shift in consciousness for 2012 as THE transformational year for YOU.

Why Playing "Unsafe" is Better than "Being Safe" - Welcoming the New You Transformation 2012

Earlier this afternoon, I had planned to take Ivry to an afternoon of fun at the nearby JCC Clubhouse.

What fun! I could get two hour's worth of writing for my new transformational book, Giving a Voice to the Voiceless and reach the 10,000 word mark. But as to be expected, the JCC was closed for New Year's which I had completely forgot and I could say goodby to "peace and quiet."

My son however, didn't have a problem. He was grateful to track back in the snow and help pick up the snow off somebody's car, whose owner was already scraping the last bit off his windshield.

When I think of the transformational work I'm doing, I realize how life's setbacks is part of what the universe has in store for us including these scheduling changes.

This past year's highights included some deep and intense lows and highs of my evolving self - the ying and yang of life's dualities. I went through an abortion, my mother-in-law passed away, I visted my home in Israel after four years of returning back to the States, I started a meditation challenge that changed my life and finally connected me to spirit and source, (which I'd managed to push away for years,) I spoke at the International Reading conference, said goodbye to a dear friend who passed away of breast cancer, my mom, who has Alzheimer's and has spent more days in hospitals than ever before, I got a contract to write my book, Greater Collaboration for K-6 English Language Learners, I said goodbye to old friends and habits who weren't serving me and began to welcome the new.

I just want to play it safe, I thought. I just don't want all these problems. i just want to know that I can continue to do the work I need to do.

Need to do. Need to do. Not meant to do.

As David Ji, from the Chopra Center says, "You can go from one physiology to another, but you, deep, deep deep within, your core essential being is timeless and essential in the world."



But guess what? Life is hairy horny, thick and scary at times.

The perfectionist and self-control freak in me wanted to hold unto to something dark and deep from childhood that would continue to keep me safe.

But what I was really looking for was a safe place to begin something important and transformative.
And then I realized. With all my concern for emotional safety" to work in the traditional way I had learned, I had evolved into another "pair of shoes." the old way of thinking was that I had to choose just one direction - be an ESL teacher. Now, my new way of thinking is to create my own "center" with all the different "hats" that define my work as a language diversity coach, but with a creative side of personal story writing. I coud choose to write on any curriculum I create. I could coach writers with my new curriculum. This had been a call for some time and nothing would prepare me more than this very moment.

In fact, I couldn't ask for a more perfectly raw and spiritual moment to write my book. The snow dreamily falling like from "Merry Christmas Charlie Brown."

If I look back at my life's events for the past twenty years and when I see myself in another 5 years - I see one major glowing difference: a calling to be somebody else, bigger and deeper than myself. I've tapped into this energy for the past five months, but I know, deep deep within, that 2012 will be a Major shift for me in the gifts I plan to share with the world.


And so with all the uncertainty right now in my life,(and some certainty) when there are so many shifts in emotional and creative consciousness, there's no better time than the present for me to start my brand new spanking path.

And so, I sit in front of a computer, finishing this blog post and moving to writing my chapter. I have everything I need to succeed. I am ready for this moment and I write my heart as my seven year old son plays with his Lego and gazes at the falling snow.

And so, I'm reminded by Steve Jobs (z"l) who said: "Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

As Rebecca Ocean says in the article, "Three Keys for Setting Transformative Resolutions to Realize Your Gifts & Birth the True You in the New Year"

"...If you chose your chrysalis well, hitting a trouble spot is a good sign. Rather than indicating failure or the need for a new structure, these places are Divine neon signs pointing to where the truth lies hidden behind your false self. As you remain steadfast for your dream, fueled by your love, what’s false dissolves and what’s left is the beautiful truth of who you are and how life wants to shine its glory through you in the New Year."

May we always be able to distinguish between what is "safe" and "unsafe..." as I welcome and lovingly embrace the new 2012 ME...

And my son is only all too happy to watch the snow and wait for mommy to be finished with her writing....

"Hey! You Speak My Language!"

While waiting for the bus to take us home from Thanksgiving shopping from my husband's work at Giant Eagle, my husband and I took advantage of the twenty minutes or so to watch the rainpour and chat in our language...Hebrew.

Suddenly, an African American guy turned to us and asked, "What language are you speaking?"

"Hebrew," we replied.

"Shalom," he said.

"Shalom," we said back.

"Mah zeh? - what's this?" he said. "Mah zeh!"

I couldn't help but laugh. "You're laughing," he said. [That was something my dad would of course, have said....]

Little did he know that I was really laughing because I was surprised to find myself utterly connected with a stranger through language at that very moment.

I swear that the fact that he spoke just those few words in HEBREW lit the way during that stormy night. The light gave me "voice" - my language was recognized. I wasn't melting with all the other voices.

It would be one thing to "blend" with all the other voices. "It would be another thing to blend with all the other voices and still stick to my own voice and story.

But because I tend to shrink under my own light, I don't even get to the part where I allow my voice be woven in those colorful and rich strands of diversity.

So that moment allowed for some inter-cultural exchange and communication that also just happened to be grounded in a diverse setting.


That I wasn't alone. That I wasn't emotionally isolated. And that it is possible to find a connection. Somebody was actually speaking our language. OUR language. MY language.

"I know just a few words from when I worked with Israelis in New York City. They would always say, "Mah-zeh, mah-zeh, all the time."

"Yep," I said. "I can see that happening."

"What kind of business were they in?" My husband asked. "Clothing or electronics."

"Uh, clothing," he said thoughtfully.

"Shloshim v'shalosh. Shloshim v'taysha," - Thirty-three, thirty-nine.

I laughed again.

Ivry, my son said, "Shloshim v'shalosh."

"I was working at the store in 1995," he said. "I was a security guy."

"Oh man," my husband said.

"I was making $4.20 cents an hours and lived out in Queens."

"And you travelled two hours by train each way."

"Yep. That's right."

"And I was paying 85 dollars a week for renting this room," he said.

"A room?" I asked.

"Yeah, a room. That's all I needed at the time."

"How old were you, 18?" Ivry asked.

"Smart boy," he said. "Give me five."

As they high-fived, he said, "19. I was nineteen and that was all I needed."

Haim and I went back to our chat, but the moment wasn't the same. We knew that even though other people like this African-American gentleman couldn't understand our conversation, he was, at the very least, privy to a connection that also brought him connected to his past and memory and who he was.

"You're a good man," Haim said. "I can tell."

"Thank you - TODA."

And on the bus ride home, just before he finished up his cell phone conversation and exited the bus, he turned to me and said with a smile for all the people on the bus to hear, "SHALOM."

Voicing Smallness and Bigness and Other Mangeable Emotional "Chunks"

Smallness and Bigness seem to be the two US themes that emerge in my writing. And they are often part of the darkness of my being.

Let me share with you an anecdote:


To avoid sinking small and letting the size overwhelm and distract and get in the way of relationship building, I have made it my intention to connect with that element or elements that are approachable and "digestable." By "digestable," I mean, I don't look at the pain of the scenario, but I bring my awareness to the more subtle things that could potentially uplift the situation as I look past the pain.

For example, at yesterday's ELI Pre-Thanksgiving potluck, despite the fact that there wer so many nationalities, there was something about the BIGNESS of that room that made me feel uncomfortable. The combination of a familiar cultural context and huge spatiality (that is so typical of US architecture and infrastructure) completely disoriented me.

One of the main reasons why I am still having a difficult time coping is because of this physical and cultural BIGNESS. Towards the last few years of living on the most beautiful kibbutz in Israel, (our kibbutz, Sde Nehemiya) the scope of my world was within a 360 degree radius and I would bike the 1 kilometer to school every day alongside the Jordan River. I never needed to venture beyond what was emotionally and physically unmanageable and life became quite routine and comfortable and I felt good in my own American-Israeli skin.

However, with that said...

Too much unfamiliar sometimes creates the familiar.

At an event for all students at the English Language Institute at the University of Pittsburgh where I work, I sat around a big round table and in a big and tall hall with chandeliers and pink painted walls with golden mirrors - something like a palace.

And in that big room, I quickly found comfrot in the voices of children - Ivry's age. Children don't need to be reminded to have fun and they find pleasure in the most amazing things. Within seconds literally, these three Chinese boys and Ivry were already making paper airplanes and wizzing them with glee. Of course, they managed to throw them up into corners and nooks and cranies of huge columns that were unreachable without climbing a long ladder.

Ivry, my son, quickly made friends with Chou-Chou, a sweet Chinese boy who is also in first grade. Although his English is quite good, I was quickly transported to that "other BIG cultural context of language learning" of what it felt to feel "SMALL." And although manageable is desireable, feeling "small" equates to me nowadays, the "silent voice."

We run into a medium sized hall where I can still keep eye contact on the boys. And miraculously, in this clean, well-lighted hall, I am "home."

And it is at this medium sized hall, where I suddenly catch the sight of a young woman who has joined us - probably 23 or 24 years old. She seems to stand out from the parent-kid scenario as she leans against a column and texts. She looks at us constantly and when our gazes lock, she smiles as if she tries to fit in. Her smile is specifically directed at me. Why? And why is she here and not with the hoards of people inside eating yummy ethnic foods?

When we move into the next adjoining hall, she follows us again. In fact, she continues to follow our movements as if we are a flock of birds migrating south for the winter. And all the while, she looks at us. At one point, she disappears entirely and when I remember her, I am already on the bus back home with Ivry - planning already the routine in my head for the upcoming week as we both muster a yawn or two.

So this is the voice of myself echoing "smallNess" from the BigNess. At the end of the day, we are all the same size no matter where we come from.

In fact, this nondescript young woman reminds me of myself many years ago - perhaps at one of the Israeli army bases I served on - and I tried to connect to different peoples of different units. And how quickly I wanted to avoid feeling small by fitting in. And how quickkly I wanted to grow up. Only this woman is to me "quite big" because she stands out from the crowd.

She Would Have Been Born Today

It's hard to believe that I would have been a mother for the second time had I not have to go through that awful procedure back in May. In fact, that is a part of me I cannot believe actually happened. It seems so surreal and so not a part of who I am today despite the fact that it happened six months ago.

But now I realize that all happens for the higher good. Maybe my job right now is to concentrate on my writing and the "birthing" of two books while giving my son everything he needs.

This creation of this loved baby girl came from a place of "VOICE" - of confidence, trust and courage in this universe knowing that in spite of being far away from home, I was at "home" with my decision. And I felt loved and had a strong enough support system in the United States to believe I was strong enough to expand our family.

When I first got the terrible news, I felt that VOICE was gone. I did not have words to convey the pain of what I felt. I wanted to scream, but couldn't. I wanted to cry, but couldn't. I even wanted to write, but couldn't. Our intentions to expand our brood were honorable, so why this terrible dooming fate? It was the unlucky experience we had to deal with that drove that "voice" away.

I also have to remember though that life for us is complete right now, too. With just the three of us and my many other "babies." And we need to give thanks for those things too.

I often wonder however when I'm not occupied with other stuff, how that baby girl's voice would sound. She never had a chance to cry in this world, be held or feel loved. How Ivry would respond to being a bigger brother.

She was part of my voice of helplessness and compassion. Our voices strung together like a melodic heartbeat.

Our grief has eased but I know it will last a lifetime because she is gone - she was the product of love between my husband and I.

The decision we made to terminate the pregnancy came from our own hearts, but in essence, she is "voiceless" because she never got a chance for her to make her "mark."

I can only imagine what it would have been like to hear her cry and dress and feed her - but at least I have the voice of this blog to share what this experience means to me.

Why the Birthday Project is More than Just a Project

Many of you have commented on my facebook page and "liked" some of the status updates associated with "The Birthday Project," which I discovered recently. This woman is a walking "lamplighter" and mitzvah maker. However, it is clear though that the concept of doing 41 random acts on my birthday, there is much more significance for me beyond the random concept of giving.


It is when we give, we truly have the potential to make the greatest impact. This may seem like a no-brainer, but we get so caught up in our busy lives that we lose sight of the moment and the infinite possibilities.

I took on the Birthday Gift project from a place where I finally felt comfortable with my surroundings. That I could say I belong to a community. But it hasn't always been this way.

In a small community such as ours, you need to grow roots. Redefine connection – not be afraid to ask for help. But it's not always easy, especially when you feel the strong relationships of other younger women to their mothers.

Through giving, I am creating a "new archetype" for motherhood. I can't rely on a mother figure because that's just not going to happen. And not rely on other people to fill in the gaps. By giving, I create my own "new reality" - my own catalyst for change.

Having a reason to give makes it also easier to bond with strangers. But when you have a reliable support system, you don't always need to think outside the box, because "the box" is always there.

In a new community, your friends are your family.

By helping the blind person cross the street this afternoon or taping coins to the vending machine or mailbox, I am sending a message to myself that the "unfamiliar" is slightly less "unfamiliar."

That it IS possible to find a connection.

That it IS possible to feel less of a "stranger."

That there ARE other options to this "strangerhood" to help me cope with the isolation.

That I CAN find my tribe after many years of living in Israel where I HAD my own tribe and support system.

Through giving, my world view is shifting. My attitude used to be: “people pay more attention to you when you put up an emotional, needy or suffering mode."

Not anymore.

I was determined to put away those voices that made me feel “small.” And in a diverse setting, this can be tricky. It’s so easy to feel isolated and unappreciated. The streets are wide and lonely. Everybody has their own culture, language, TV and SUV.

But not me. I'm part of a universal dimension that goes beyond the computer screen.

When I first came to Pittsburgh, I knew full well, that I had a big challenge of emotional and social isolation to overcome, but I didn't realize how HARD it would be.

When I go for example, to someone else’s house here – they speak so much more “connectedly.” The families that hosted us in the beginning wanted us to feel at home so badly, but they didn't realize (and still don't) how isolated I felt. I still feel lost, empty, sad. Even though we were blessed with abundance the minute we arrived, I still thought "lack" or "empty” thoughts.

There was one thing I needed to build that was missing from my environment – trust.


So today, I put outside two BIG bags of canned and boxed goods. Since we don't have a car to bring it anywhere, that was the only viable soltuion. So I just grabbed the two bags and brought them downstairs. We weren't using them anyhow. When I came back an hour later from reading stories to my son's classroom, the bags were gone.

I saw one man carrying the clear through plastic bag with some perishables. The ones I just left on the street. I quickly passed him, and said nothing. I sized him up. He spoke Russian.

And for a moment, I felt "the community" just spoke to me.

It was the first time that my presence rubbed off me and unto somebody else in such a short and fleeting moment. Could it be some kind of impact?

"It seems," I thought. "People are hungry all over. People need to be nourished. People need a voice - not just food."

I know I can get excited when I see something I want and it's free.

But I also can appreciate the feeling that there is somebody outside who is "thinking of me."

Now it's MY Turn.

HOW I Serve and Support My Current Life Theme of Emotional Isolation

Just the other day, I realized that a major life theme running through my life right now is "finding a home - a center" and "building connections with those people" who energetically center me.

After years of building roots in Israel, I found myself suddenly "uprooted," when we came back to the States in 2007. As two professionals, we experienced the "brain drain" and needed to leave.

It took me four years of living in the States to get to the point where I felt safe enough to reconnect with like-minded people, who have diverse backgrounds, think in diverse ways. Facebook is a good place to start - only it is hard to ascertain who is real and who isn't. Our busy world doesn't allow for much more than casual conversation than that that often comes across as "impersonal" because it's so "virtual."

Once I started writing about this emotional disconnect and loneliness as I found myself trying to find a "center" again after living so many years on a beautiful kibbutz where I had everything including a support system, I realized it was time to "heal" myself in ways I had never even considered.

What's working right now in my life to support this need to build "a healing center in a world of diversity?

Diversity at the core of its universal meaning, is a beautiful and wondrous thing - language, culture, mentalities, traditions, values, attitudes. In Israel, this concept played out wonderfully. Because I was unique and special as an Anglo Saxon immigrant, I was able to bring something unique to the cultural and linguistic rural landscape of the Upper Galilee. For example, I taught English to Israeli schoolchildren and university students.

As one who is deeply drawn to the diversity of this world, I found it threatening and sometimes still do when I came back full-circle to my US roots as a mom and a wife. How could I build a support system in a community of people I hardly even know? How can I trust a complete stranger? How do I get out of my comfort zone - taking into account that on a kibbutz, you don't have to venture beyond the 360 degree radius; work to school was a 1 kilometer bike ride away, and visiting my parents were a mere 30 minutes drive away down a comforting and familiar road - in-laws were another hour.


I started to write "meaningful stories" that started as "rambles" and "observation snippets" about things that were working in my life. If I went on a Pittsburgh city bus for example and I was feeling isolated and lonely, I would describe how the bus experience felt. I'd observe the faces, what struck me about lonely and isolating in that moment of time. Over time, this way of recording experiences first as a ramble and then in a more organized form, helped me overcome the silence and isolation.

Through writing, I felt more connected.

Through meditation, I felt more connected.

By becoming a part of Christine Kloser's Author Mastermind Program, I found my tribe.

All these "pieces" when together, helped me find my own voice in a world of diversity.


Through writing, I was able to poinpoint also what areas of my thinking and feeling were keeping me "stuck."

Writing these stories not only gave me greater clarity, but also allowed me to FEEL the transition and vision. What is still needed in order to serve my vision? (support it)?

What I Learned from the Transformative Process of Writing: Feeling to Write and Writing to Speak

Since signing up for the Transformation Authors and Mastermind Program, I knew I was in store for something good that would change my life. What I didn't know was exactly how my life would change.

Perhaps that is why the transformative process is so damn exciting - you go "in" expecting one thing or "thinking" one thing and then something else completely happens... and with different life forces!

In my case, as I wrote, everything I experienced whether it was meditation and connecting in stillness and quiet or recalling the silent "voice" of living in Israel, became the threads of the story. As I lived it, I was evolving and writing it - pretty cool, if you think about it.

This is what exactly happened when I wrote "The Best Time to Get in My Way," for the Anthology to be published in May 2012, "Pebbles in the Pond: Transforming the World One Person at a Time." By the time I finished the 20th draft version, I was transformed by the writing process - I was committed to the process.

And I noticed that many different levels peel and unfold at every stage. These levels didn't evolve sequentially, but sometimes all together. So I will identify those levels as a way to share with you what happened.

Level 1 - I start writing about transformation at the story level - how it feels to be an outsider living in Pittsbugh. My own story. I'm coming out. I share the "pieces" of my story that in turn, shape the reasons why I want to encourage other people to write their "pain stories."

Level 2 - I write my "story" through the eyes of a reader "pebble" - how writing our own "truths" and "pain stories" bring us closer to that "voice." At this stage of writing, the "concept of "voice" is a bit nebulous. I know it has something to do with finding a deeper connection, but it's more than that. It's up to me to find out so I write some more. As I'm deepening my message, I think more clearly, "What is it about finding my voice in a voiceless world" that brings a stronger connection. I ponder some of these answers in my meditations each morning waiting for the answers to sink in.

Level 3 of Transformation: I make the subtle but powerful connection to meditation and weave this into "part of my own story of transformation." I write that one needs to emotionally heal before moving forward. There are many nights and days that I cry. I cry for the "voiceless child" and I cry for the emotional and social isolation I feel as an outsider coming to Pittsburgh. I still feel this way. A lot.

Level 4 of Transformation: I'm intent on answering the questions for my beautiful "pebble reader" - How can the "voice of my story" serve you? How can I guide you dear "pebble" reader? How can I encourage you to write the voice of your own pain story?

On our last masterheart call, Christine Kloser, my transformative mentor and catalyst of this journey, gave us important tips for connecting to the reader. I go one step further and write letters to the reader - telling him/her how much I appreciate the journey and understand the process and I ask him/her questions and this helps me get "into his/her head."



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For the last few weeks as I'm writing, I try to not get too bogged with recording the details, and I'm really make sure I'm honoring the story and my message of what needs to be shared. But there are so many elements of the story that are part of "ONE STORY," that it's hard to honor them all at one go.

By the last week of October 2011, I have written almost 25 drafts for a 1500 word chapter. But still, I feel like something's still missing. I am determined to find the piece I need to truly connect to my reader and myself.

And then, on Thursday, October 27th, I listen to a meditation about emotional healing presented by DavidJi from the Chopra Center as part of a meditation bundle I had purchased after completing the summer 2011 meditation challenge.

I am feeling worn-out with mid-semester blues. I don't want to look at another student's essay. I am particularly in need of love and self-care. I'm in need of face-to-face friendships. (This is my new goal) I cannot sustain myself with just online ones anymore especially when I'm in that "dark" moment. I'm beginning to think that finding a Kindred Spirit in my area is hard because of how busy I am and have become. I begin to open my heart for answers.

So in the middle of my morning at the university where I work, I listen to this meditation. I had never done anything like that before. Something about it strongly grabs my heart:

David Ji says that the reason why we have been emotionally hurt is because as a result of the pain, we haven't been expressed our needs and desires adequately enough to those around us. He gives a few guiding questions which I quickly write down.


1.Is there a need that is important to me that I have not expressed? (very conscious way)
2.How do you feel? What's that emotion inside?
3. Then state that need that is the cause of that feeling.
4. We make a request for a specific action.

On the afternoon walk all the way home from the bus stop, I think about the people who have hurt me and who I may hurt in return. I write to the one closest to me, a letter. I realize that there is probably not a lot that I can do to change this person, but after a good cry and some words, I feel much better. I remember what Christine Kloser says about "having a good cry" in one of the mindset emails I get.

I connect deeply (more cries) and realize that the voice of my heart needs acknowledgement. That's it! All my life, I've walked through life with a "thinking mind." I've made decisions entirely in this way nd not from a "feeling heart."



So what do I want the reader to know after reading this chapter. And how is this part of my transformation?

I write at the top of the page:

What the reader will get from reading this chapter: Listen to the voice that will allow you to feel.


Yes! Yes! Yes!

By the time I pick up my son, I am so tired from teaching, meditating, grading and writing and thinking - I just want to disappear - wisk myself away to an island and a beautiful sunset but I feel empowered by this new "finding" that I just go on. I grab my beautiful but tired son and we head for the neighborhood bus to take us to a hospital to use the gift certificates my husband got when he donated blood the past few times to buy dinner at the cafeteria. We get our hamburgers and french fries and grilled chicken burgers, which is not my husband's or my way. Daddy is the cook at home and we hardly eat french fries. But it's comfort food for both of us, and my son likes it. He's happy, so I give in.


With these new "heartfelt eyes," I weave into the story the very next day, the part of the heart and revise. I read it just once, twice and three times more send it happily off to the editor.

Yes! I finally now understand the "voice that has allowed me to feel." This awareness in itself, is life-changing/shaping. I am on a high because I know that from this place, I will always be able to reach higher levels of transformation and connect more deeply with my reader/myself.