Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Free to Be Me
What if, just for today, you decided to be yourself?
Today, I received this message from the universe in my inbox.
Dorit, do you know what's really, really, really easy?
Whatever you say is really, really, really easy.
Same goes for the hard stuff.
You so fly,
Yes. To fly. This morning at the transformational author's retreat led by spiritual leader Christine Kloser, I had the chance to act my most authentic self. To fly. People who know me from long ago know that kooky Dorit and know her well.
But somewhere down the road, I've silenced that actress who loves to tell a story. Who loves to captivate an audience. But I always managed to silence my voice. Maybe it was because I was afraid to annoy many people with my high-pitched laughter. Or maybe it was because I never thought I had something important worth saying.
But today, standing in a circle of 40+ transformational authors had never felt so so good. I said, "Yesterday, Nadine Love, (another Pebbles in the Pond author) and I went down a long dark road for a walk. We left the retreat center. I saw empty vast spaces for miles around and it scared me. I never felt so much uncertainty in my life. At home, I am in such control of my schedule with all the hats I wear. I wear the hats of "the teacher," "paper-grader, "writer," "mother."
Bit by bit, I stripped myself down to my most vulnerable “kooky” core. People were laughing left, right and center. And the feeling of sharing my voice with others was no longer a distant memory. I was that actress. I was that storyteller. My Pebbles friends will tell you they felt they were on "The Dorit Show," but I call it "Dorit Unplugged.”
After I went back to my seat, the energy in that room had completely - and I mean, completely, shifted.
You see, I've always stuck to structure for comfort and security's sake. I always stuck to order and having a steady paycheck. But now, the time has come to give voice to all the voiceless people. My soul had come home. Acting kooky and "retarded" was the one tool I had to feel completely grounded and safe in my element. That ONE element.
All throughout the retreat, I hear people express the idea "How can I step up to be me?"
As I got people to laugh, I realized that I was able to create a very special space for other people so they could feel comfortable and vulnerable in their own skin and share their Stories.
So because I wasn’t sure of how I impacted others, I asked my Pebbles friends:
"You're a vaudeville act."
"You're a storyteller."
"You owned that moment."
"Your laugh is something. Infectious."
This is what I am meant to do as a storyteller.
All my life I have tried HARD to be somebody else's vibration. But, it's about creating that space. And being comfortable with who are. When you are expressing your most authentic self, you create space for people to step into their creative power and give voice to voice to their story.
Obviously, I had not planned for it to go this way, but obviously, there was some kind of vibrational energy that wanted me to own that moment and be in the spotlight.
So let yourself laugh wild and free and act as kooky as you want. Step into your power. Voice your Story and own the Storytelling moment. Obviously, for me, there was a big part of me that needed to be seen and heard despite all the uncertainty and emotional vulnerability. But yet, there was a part of me that wanted to hide under the table.
But the more you step up and out, the easier it will be for you to share that who you are. That of course is not a reason to step away. Other people need to feel your light. The most important thing is to keep moving forward, voicing what you believe and value. This IS your Story. People everywhere, HUNGER for Truth. Being who you are is not easy, but it is an incredible invitation to be who you are in the universe. You will get resistance of people who won't understand you. But that is evidence that something is changing inside of you and that your energy is healing.